


Antique Love

by harrysrainbow



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Asexual Harry, Non-Binary Harry, Other, a slight hint of Zouis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:20:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24014392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrysrainbow/pseuds/harrysrainbow
Summary: Louis comes across a store called 'style-ish antiques'. Its downhill from there.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Uh ok, so I'm not the greatest at writing I'll admit. But I still like writing because it makes me happy. I wanted to see more stories with non-binary characters so here we go! Didn't do much proof reading so feel free to point out mistakes.

Louis just wants to go home. He’s been at this ice cream shop for over an hour and he’s just trying his best to keep calm. With his anxiety crowds aren’t his thing. He loves his sisters though, so he wants to do this for them.

He looks around to his sisters and see’s them taking pictures of everything they can. His dad and him had put together money to buy them their first phones. He can’t help but laugh at Niall, who’s sitting next to the girls hiding his face so they can’t take anymore pictures of him.

He takes a deep breath repeating to himself in his head, “You can get through it”. He sits down at a booth on the opposite side of the restaurant to try get a little space. He opens his phone and fiddles around on tumblr to keep himself occupied. He hears the bell dinging indicating someone just came in the restaurant. He looks up to see its Zayn. Zayn looks around spotting Louis and waves a few fingers walking over the table he’s sitting at.

Zayn sits down and sets a couple small presents on the table, “These are for the girls. Drew them myself!”

Louis looks up from his phone with a smile. Then his smile is gone as quick as it came. Zayn has a weird smile on his face and bloodshot eyes. He’s high.

Trying to keep his calm Louis takes another breath keeping his voice even, “Zayn are you kidding me? Why the hell would you get high before coming here? Around my family?”

Zayn looks down fiddling with his fingers, “I’m sorry”

Louis sighs and looks around realizing the party is dying down and some of the girls' friends have already left, “Look, let's get out of here and talk or something, ok?”

Zayn nods and grabs the gifts holding them up, “Can I watch the girls open my presents at least?”

Louis looks back at the girls. They are on each side of Niall looking at his phone. He looks back at Zayn and nods, “Yeah let me go give it to them. You stay here, ok?”

Louis makes his way over to the table setting the two small boxes in front of the girls, “Hey girls. Zayn isn’t feeling that well but he wanted to make sure you got his gifts so here you go!”

The two girls instantly tore into the gifts. They were phone cases. They were clear with colorful designs on them. Louis remembered Zayn said he drew them himself. Zayn must have drawn on them and made the girls custom phone cases.

“I love it! Tell Zayn we say thank you!”

Louis gives the girls a kiss on the head and says bye to his family. When Louis made his way back to the table Zayn was smiling.

Louis grabs his jacket putting it on, “Hey, the girls said they love them. They are nice”

“Good! Yeah I asked Niall for gift ideas and he mentioned the phones”

“Do you want to go get something to eat? I need real food besides ice cream”

Zayn looks up almost surprised also getting up grabbing his phone from the table, “Yeah sure”   
  
“Ok, let's go up the street and get a burger”

* * *

They walk in silence for the first few minutes. It doesn’t feel awkward or anything though.

  
  
Zayn finally broke the silence, “I really am sorry. I know it was a stupid thing for me to do to show up like that”

“I’m honestly just really upset you were like that around my family, that's all”

Zayn grabs Louis’ arm stopping him, “I’m sorry. I’ll know better next time”

Louis links arms with him and continues walking, “I know. We’ll get through it together. Let's just focus on getting some food right now. But we do have to talk ok?”

Zayn let out a sigh which wasn’t surprising. He was never the best with talking about personal things. He knew talking about it would help though.   
  
They continue walking in silence. As they walked they came across a little store. What caught Louis’ attention first and made him stop, was the mannequin set up in the window. It was dressed in bright pink stretchy pants, suspenders, and a weird looking hat with feathers sticking out of the top. That wasn’t the weirdest thing though. Even though the mannequin had suspenders on it, there was no shirt. As he looked up he noticed the name of the store, “Style-ish antiques”.

  
  


“Hey, mind going in here? I have to see what this store is about”, Zayn shrugs and nods and they enter the store. It smells really good in the store. Like flowers. He then sees another mannequin a few feet away from the door. It was dressed in skinny acid wash jeans, which he isn’t a fan of. But the jacket it’s wearing he loves. It was a windbreaker. It was all black with lime green triangles all across it. He wants it. Scratch that: he needs it. He makes a beeline for it and instantly starts examining it.

As he was about to look at the collar to see the size he’s startled by a deep voice behind him that wasn’t Zayn’s, “Hello! Finding everything alright?”

Louis jumps and quickly turns around, “Yes, yes. Just looking at the moment”

The person smiles and nods their head, “I’m sorry for the scare! I’ll be up front if you need anything”   
  


Louis realizes he had been staring for a good 10 seconds and hasn’t responded, “Oh ok, thanks!”

The person was halfway to the register before Louis called back out, “Actually, excuse me? I’m interested in this jacket on the mannequin. Could I get help getting it off?”

They smile walking back over, “Of course!” As they took off the jacket they continued talking, “I actually love this jacket. It came in last week and I fell in love with it instantly. Unfortunately, I’m a tad too tall for it”

“Well guess it's my lucky day. Looks like it’ll fit me perfectly”

They stifle a laugh, trying to cover it with a smile.

Louis notices quickly and narrows his eyes, “What's so funny?”

They clear their throat trying to school his face back to normal, “Well, if I’m being completely honest, the jacket seems too big for you”   
  
Louis fakes a dramatic gasp holding his hand to his chest, “Excuse me? We just met and you're already making fun of my height! I should report you and get you fired“   
  
They didn’t hide their laugh this time and hands Louis the jacket, “Well, that would be kind of hard considering I’m very close with the owner”   
  
Louis hears a snicker from behind him and his cheeks go red. He almost forgot Zayn was here.

They both made their way to the counter as Louis slipped the jacket on and Zayn walked towards the door. They were right and it is a little too big, but he doesn’t mind.

“So how much do I owe you?”

“Your total comes to £15”

As Louis is handed his receipt, he remembered why he wanted to come here, “Say, there is one specific reason I stopped here. Since you know the owner maybe you’ll know. Why is the name of the store spelled wrong? Looks kind of silly”

“Well you see, my last name is Styles. So I thought it would be a funny pun! Can’t say I’ve had anyone call it silly so that’s a first”

Louis’ face grew as red as a tomato when he realized, “That means…  _ You _ are the owner?”

A grin spreads across their face, “Why yes I am! I’m Harry. Harry Styles”

“I am so sorry! So sorry. I really do like your store though, honestly”

“Why thank you! I hope to see you around again, honestly” and gives a quick wink.

As Louis walks away from the counter trying not to die from embarrassment, he see’s Zayn looking at a leather jacket.

“Damn, that’s a nice jacket. Going to get it?”

Zayn shakes his head with a pout, “Nah, too expensive. I just started a new job so everything’s been going towards my apartment at the moment. Maybe I’ll come back in a couple weeks and grab it if it’s still here”

“Alrighty. Well let’s go eat I’m starved”

Louis takes one last look at the leather jacket to try to remember it. He’s going to get Zayn that jacket his next pay day. He deserves it.

* * *

It was almost a week later when Louis was finally about to get Zayn's jacket. After another tedious day working at a local doctor's office at the front desk, he was finally free. He only got yelled at twice today so he took that as a win.

He walks into ‘Style-ish Antiques’ to find the same person from a few weeks ago. This time he was typing away on a laptop. He looked up for a moment smiling, “Hello! Let me know if you need anything”

Louis gave a smile back and nodded.

He walks over to the rack of jackets looking for the one Zayn had saw. Unfortunately after flipping through the jackets twice, he didn’t see it. But he did see a couple other nice ones he liked.

He made his was over to the counter clearing his throat to not scare the person, “Uh, hi”

A big smile spread across Harry’s face as he seemed to remember, “Hello! Oh wait, I remember you. But I do have to admit, I’m terrible with remembering names so please do forgive me if you told me”   
  
“That's alright. I’m Louis. Nice to see you again”

He almost seemed to blush, “Y-yeah, you too”

“Anything I could you with?:

Louis turned around to Harry, “Actually, yeah. I’m not seeing the exact jacket my friend liked. I did find a couple other ones though. Think you could give me your opinion?”

“I can try! Let's see”, they came from behind the counter walking to the front leaning back against the counter. He stood there for a second examining the two jackets, “If I had to pick, I’d say this one. I love roses so I love the one on the sleeve”

He looked down and took another look and nodded, “Thank you! He’s going to love it”

The jacket set Louis back £60 but it was worth it. Zayn nearly had tears streaming down his face when Louis gave it to him.

* * *

It was a stressful day. Its flu season so the doctors office Louis works at is more busy than usual. People getting sick and people getting the flu shot. This means Louis has to help the nurses out by escorting people to and from exam rooms and bringing in discharge paperwork when needed.

“Hey Lou. I know you're out soon, but do think you could just drop off this discharge paperwork off real quick to room 6? And just double check if foot boot is comfortable? If not I can send Perrie in to help”

Louis nodded, smiling and grabbing the clipboard of paperwork, “Yeah no problem!”

He walked down the hall checking the chart real quick for a name. He gave a knock to give a heads up to the patient before opening the door.

“Hello Harry! I’m Louis I’m just -”, it was then he looked up and realized it was Harry. The one from the store.

"Hi Louis! Fancy seeing you here"

"Hey Harry. I’m just here to drop off some discharge paperwork. Just need one signature. There’s also a packet about how to help out your foot. But before I go, is the foot boot ok? Comfortable and fits ok?”

Harry nodded, grabbing the clipboard of information and signing on the last page, “Yeah everything's good so far. I was using the one I had from when I broke my foot a couple years ago and it wasn’t comfortable anymore. This one is a lot better. So you're a nurse?"

“Nah. I just work at the front desk. It's been busy though so I’m helping out a little with paperwork and stuff. I saw your had a break in your foot, you ok?”

A soft blush came across Harry’s cheeks and he looked down at hiss feet, “Yeah. I’m pretty clumsy. I actually tripped over my kitten”

Louis bit his lip to not laugh but it slipped out a little, “Sorry for laughing”

“Oh it's ok! It's a pretty weird situation so”

“Surprisingly, I’ve seen weirder. Don’t worry"

Louis grabbed the clipboard walking to the door and opening it for Harry, “You too! Hope to see you again”

Harry smiled, “I think you will! Or I hope so at least”

Louis laughed a little then it hit him what he said. He went to ask him what he meant but Harry was already out the door. He shook his head and continued walking down the hallway to drop off Harry's paperwork. When he was about to hand the clipboard to Perrie something small fell to the floor. He looked down and saw a piece of paper and picked it up.

_ “I was too shy to do this out loud. I would love to hangout sometime so here’s my number - Harry” _

* * *

Louis didn’t know what to do. He felt sort of weird getting Harry’s number while he was at work. Doesn’t that mean he’s technically a patient of his? But then again Louis isn’t a doctor or a nurse so does it count?   
  
Louis muttered under his breath, “Fuck it. I’m just going to do it. Obviously he wants to talk to me if he left his number”

Opening his contacts and tapping the plus sign to add a new contact he put Harry’s information in. He stared at the piece of the paper then his phone going back and forth. The last thing he needed was making a fool of himself and text the wrong person.

_ “Hey! How's your foot doing in the new boot?” _

_ “Oh, its louis btw” _

**_“hi louis! wasn’t sure you would text me. it's good, thank you”_ **

_ “Good! So… What are you up to Saturday?” _

**_“just working. what about you?”_ **

Harry doesn’t seem to get what Louis was implying. He was a little embarrassed but wasn’t giving up.

_ “What about after work? Were you free then?” _

**_“I had a pizza date with my kitten. want to join us?”_ **

Louis couldn’t help but laugh. Harry beat him to the punch.

_ “Only if its thin crust pineapple and bacon pizza” _

**_“thats a weird combo for toppings… but I think that can be arranged. my place 6:30 PM”_ **

* * *

Louis stares at the house. Harry has a damn house. This was happening. He can do this. This was only his 3rd date in his life. Not that the first two went bad, because they were amazing. He just doesn’t have much experience. Let alone having a first date at someones house.

But its Harry. He can do this.

Louis walks up the porch and knocks softly on the door. Before he’s able to lower his arm back to the side the door is opening.

Louis looks up to see Harry standing there. Instead of a dress shirt and dress pants, Harry was wearing a light pink top and black ripped jeans. Louis never realized how gorgeous he was. The curls, long legs, and soft looking cheeks.

  
“Hey Harry! Wow. You look great”

Harry’s cheeks instantly went bright red, “Lou-... Louis hi. Thanks. Come in please”

  
  
Louis couldn’t help but smile at Harry’s blush. He seemed to be shy when it came to compliments and that was something he tucked that away in his mind for later.

Louis walked in and took a quick look around. The house was colorful and beautiful. Everything seemed to be pastel.

“If you want to sit on the couch I’ll grab you something to drink. The pizza should be done in 5 minutes”

Louis took his shoes off and made his way to the couch. As he was about to sit down he saw the kitten, “Oh my lord! Who is this precious baby?”

He heard a laugh come from the kitchen, “Her names Nagini. She’s a terror so be careful”

Louis scooped up the little black kitten in his arms tickling the belly, “Did you just say Nagini? As in Harry Potter?”

Harry enters the room with two glasses handing Louis one, “Here’s some lemonade. And yes it is! You are the first to notice actually”

Louis sets the small kitten down on the cushion next to him and takes the glass from Harry’s hands, “Confession time: I’m a Harry Potter nerd”

Just then a buzzing noise came from the kitchen.

“Pizza is done. Be right back!”

Harry comes back out with a couple plates handing Louis a plate, “The crust didn’t come out as thin as I hoped but I hope you still like it!”

“Wait, you made this? Like by yourself?”

“Sure did”

“No way! What? You could've just ordered out instead of going through all this trouble. I know dough can be a bitch to make sometimes”

“But homemade is always so much better. And plus, I love cooking so it wasn’t much trouble. So eat up, and please pretend to like it so you don’t hurt my feelings”

Louis laughed and took a bite, “Ok this is fucking good Harry”

  
  
“I’m glad you like it! Ok so tell me, what Harry Potter house are you in?”

* * *

They sat there and talked for an hour. Louis realized they didn’t even have the TV on or a movie playing. They had just been talking. Another couple hours passed then Louis was out the door with a sweet soft kiss on the cheek and a couple of slices of pizza to take home.

* * *

_ “Hey! So I was thinking, another pizza night next Saturday? I’ll supply the pizza this time” _

**_“hey what was wrong with my homemade pizza?”_ **

_ “Oh nothing is wrong with it, love! Just want to be helpful that's all” _

**_“how about, I'll make the dough and you bring what toppings you would want on it?”_ **

**_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** _ “Sounds good!” _

* * *

After that pizza nights become a thing for them. Louis wants to take Harry out somewhere nice. Spoil him. But when he brings up the idea to Harry its shut down,

"Uh, I don't know about that. I guess I should tell you something.. I have pretty bad anxiety. I'm not a fan of going out in public when I don't need to. I know it sounds-"  
  
"Hey hey, Harry. It's ok. Thats ok. I understand. We can have as many pizza nights as you want. I like our pizza dates"

"Date? Did you say date?"  
  
Louis looked at Harry real quick realizing what he said, "Yeah.. is that ok?"

Harry nodded smiling, "Yeah. Perfect"

A little later Louis was sitting on the couch with Harry’s feet in his lap. Harry reached over to the table grabbing his xbox controller and pausing the movie they were watching.

“So, there's something else I feel like I should tell you”

Louis poked Harry’s leg then looked up seeing Harry’s serious look and sat up straight, “Ok. I’m all ears, love”

"Well since you said these are our date nights. Am I right to assume you're also interested in me?"

Harry looked at Louis and it looked like he wanted to cry. Louis didn't like that, "Yeah. Of course I am"

“I’m not who you think I am”

Louis gave a confused look but nodded for Harry to continue,  “I’m non-binary”

Louis stayed quiet for a second just in case Harry was going to continue but he stayed silent staring at the TV even though it was paused.

“Ok. I’m not exactly sure what that means. Are you able to explain?”

  
  
“Um, yeah ok. So obviously you know how there’s male and female? Well I don’t consider myself either. It can be different for everyone. For myself personally, there’s just days I feel more masculine and days I feel more feminine. And I don’t feel comfortable identifying as just one gender”

Louis sat up a little wrapping his fingers around Harry’s ankle as to say ‘hey I’m here its ok I’m listening’, “Ok. Were you worried I wouldn’t want to be your friend or something?”

Harry sighs looking up at the ceiling, “Actually, yeah. I’ve had it happen more than once, so”

“Well, I’m staying so tough luck"

Harry lowered his head and he saw a few tears in his eyes, “You don’t think I’m weird or crazy?”

Louis pushes Harry’s leg back to the floor and sits as close as he can to Harry resting his head on their shoulder, “Nah I don’t think that. Like I said, I don’t know a whole lot but it's not something that's going to push me away. I’m willing to learn more. I just ask for a little patience while I do””

Harry spoke so quietly Louis almost didn’t hear it, “My pronouns are they and them”

Ok, pronouns. Louis knew that word, “Got it, hun”

Louis reached over grabbing the xbox remote and starting the movie again. The rest of the night went just like that. Lying side by side watching movies until Louis couldn’t keep his eyes open and ended up falling asleep, using Harry’s couch as his bed for the night.

* * *

As another couple weeks go by. Louis is on google every chance he can get looking things up about non-binary. Harry and him have even talked about it more. Louis will text them every morning asking how they are feeling today. He thought Harry would find it weird at first but Harry tells him they feel happy that someone takes the time to see how they feel on a day to day basis. He definitely doesn’t know everything but he wants to learn whatever he can.

It was pizza night again. Louis was excited as he walked in the door to Harry’s with a bottle of champagne.

“Oh honey I’m home!”

Harry peaked their head up from the couch looking at Louis with a scowl, “You are 20 minutes late Louis, I’m starving!”

He rolled his eyes slipping his shoes off walking over to the couch, “Sorry sorry. I was stopping to grab this!”, he said holding up the bottle of champagne.

Harry’s eyes lit up and they smiled, “Ooh bubbly! Yummy. It’ll go good with the steak”

“Steak? But it's Saturday, pizza night”

“I thought maybe we could switch it up. Have an actual good meal”

Louis pouts walking to the kitchen, “Fine. But it better be good!”

Louis made his way to the kitchen and nearly dropped the bottle of champagne. The small round table has a light pink tablecloth on it, two plates with covers over them and a small vase with a single pink rose in it.

He was startled when a pair of arms wrapped around him, “Well I wanted to wait until after dinner but why not now!”

  
Louis wiggles a little and turns around, keeping Harry’s arms around him, “Wait for what? What do you mean?”

  
  
Harry’s cheeks were turning red but they had a smile on their face still, “Well. Louis, will you be my boyfriend?”

Instead of answering all Louis could do was kiss Harry. He kissed their lips, their cheeks and neck.

“I’m assuming that's a yes?”

Louis nodded as tears slipped down Harry's face, “Of course it's a yes, you crazy! Yes, yes a million times”

Louis rests his hand on Harry’s cheeks wiping away the tears, “Why the tears, love?”

Harry laughs taking a deep breath kissing Louis again, “I’m just really, super, crazy happy”

“I want you this happy always, love. Ok now lets eat some dinner”

As they sat down to eat Louis wasn’t sure he was going to be able to stop smiling. Harry's his. He is Harry's.

* * *

Later that night when they had to say goodbye Louis found it hard to. They finally made their relationship official. He just wanted to stay here and cuddle Harry and kiss him since he could now.

After the fifth kiss goodbye Harry finally unwraps him arms from Louis, “Ok ok, go home Lou! I know you have work in the morning. Text me as soon as you get home, ok?”

Louis pouts a little and kisses Harry’s cheek one last time walking backwards slowly towards his car, “I promise, love”

  
  
Halfway through his only 10 minute drive he made a choice, he was going to spend the night holding Harry. As he pulled into his parking spot at his apartment he nearly tripped getting out of his car trying to get to his apartment. He ran in packing his things for the night and his work uniform for the next day.

When Harry answered the door they were in a bathrobe. Their jaw nearly dropped seeing Louis on the porch.

“Lou.. what the hell?”

“Hi, um. Sorry I couldn’t just go home. I packed an overnight bag. Thats if you even want me to spend the night?”, he said shyly with a soft blush.

Harry smiled and reached to grab Louis’ bag from him, “Get in here, you. I was just making some tea and getting ready for bed”

Louis repeated his same pattern earlier toeing off his shoes and walking to the kitchen, “Hey, how about you go finish getting ready for bed. I’ll make the tea”

Harry stood there for a moment just staring at Louis. They didn’t know how they got so lucky, “How did I get so lucky?”

* * *

About 10 minutes later Louis makes his way to Harry’s bedroom with tea cups of piping hot tea on a tray. When he gets to the door he realizes, he hasn’t seen Harry’s bedroom yet. He holds the tray in one hand knocking softly with the other to give Harry a warning.

First thing Louis notices was the walls. They were a really light pink, almost white. But you could see the pink tint. Next was the bed. It was huge. There were wooden posts on each corner. Then surrounding the bed were white curtains. The curtains were pulled back at the moment tied to the posts that are against the wall. It looks like a fairytale bed. It was beautiful.

Harry was sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing lotion on their legs. They looked up with a nervous smile, “Hi”

Louis walked to the side of the bed Harry was closest to setting the tray on the little table that was there, “Hello beautiful. Here’s your tea. I’m going to get changed real quick”

“Yeah of course. Set your bag in the bathroom already”

As Louis changes and brushes his teeth nerves set in a little. He hasn’t slept in the same bed with anyone for a while. Do they just cuddle? Should more happen even though it's the first night together? Does Harry even like cuddling?

Harry was sitting in the same spot on the bed. This time the overhead lights are off and the room is illuminated by the fairy string lights bordering the bedroom. In this light Harry somehow looks even more beautiful. They also changed into just a t-shirt and some light purple pajama shorts. They were looking down at their phone and Louis couldn’t help but stand and stare for a moment. He wouldn’t mind seeing this every night before bed.

They looked up and set their phone down resting their hand on the spot next to them, “Come lay down”

Louis slowly walks over to the bed and laid down on his stomach facing Harry, “Did I ever tell you how pretty you are? Because you are like the prettiest”

Harry laid back then covered their face with a pillow laughing speaking into it, “No, no! I am not”

Louis sits up leaning over Harry moving the pillow, “Yes I really mean it”

Louis laid down on his side facing Harry. They spent a moment just looking at each other. Almost seeming to be just taking in the moment.

“Hey, Lou. Is it possible - Can I - Can we try something?”

“Yeah, sure. What is it?”

“You can’t judge me, ok?”

Louis let out a laugh and shakes his head, “I won’t. Pinky promise”

“Can you touch me?”

Louis was taken aback for a second. He just wasn't used to be people so open with what they want, “What do you mean? Like how?”

“I.. I don’t know exactly. I’ve never done anything like this so”  
  


“Oh, ok. Yeah I can do that”  
  


“Wait.. there's just  _ one  _ more thing”

Louis nodded for them to continue, “So, I’m not even sure I’ll like this”

Louis raised an eyebrow still keeping his eyes on Harry while they looked up at the ceiling, “Hey, Harry. It's ok. I need to know what you mean ok?”

“I think I might be asexual. It’s something I’m still trying to figure out. And it’s just.. I trust you. And I want you to be the person I figure myself out with”

“Ok. That means not liking sex? I came across it the other night when I was look up things about non-binary”

Harry's heart started beating faster when Louis said that. Louis was looking up and learning things about their gender. On his own time. They nodded finally looking at Louis.

“Ok. How do you want to do this then?”

“Well… maybe just start by touching me and then seeing how I feel?”

“Ok. Before anything, do you want me to check in every couple minutes or do you want it to just happen and tell me to stop whenever you feel like it?”

Harry sat up against the pillow and ran their fingers down the silk robe, “I wouldn’t mind you checking in with me. And obviously I’ll tell you to stop when needed”

Louis smiled softly nodding, “Ok. Do you want me to keep my clothes on also?”

Harry bit their lip nodding, “Well maybe just taking off your shirt would be ok?”

“Sounds good. Are you comfortable?”

Harry wiggled around a little and took off their shorts revealing bikinis style type underwear. They are going to be the death of Louis. They watch closely as Louis slipps off his shirt throwing it somewhere off the bed.

Louis took a second to admire Harry’s tattoos. They were scattered everywhere. One day he wanted to ask Harry the meaning or reasons behind them.

Louis leaned down softly kissing Harry’s lips and leaned up a little, “This ok?”

Harry laughs against his lips and reaches up pulling Louis’ face down kissing him again. Louis started by resting his hand on Harry’s chest. They kissed for a few more minutes. Louis just wanted Harry comfortable.

He sat up a little for a moment looking down at Harry and before he could ask or say anything, Harry nodded. Louis continued kissing the corner of his mouth, nibbling their bottom lip softly. Kept slowly sliding his hand down Harry’s body and stopped for a second to squeeze their soft hips. He kissed Harry a little harder while reaching underneath their breifs. He heard a soft intake of breath as he wrapped his hand around Harry’s cock.

Before he started stroking Harry he whispered against his lips, “Ok so far?”   
  
Harry nodded and Louis continued stroking Harry and kissing their neck. Harry wasn’t hard yet but he didn’t stop. He wrapped his first a little tighter, “Good?”

Harry didn’t answer right away and that made Louis a little nervous, “Y-yeah”

“You sure?”

“No”

Louis immediately stopped and sat up, “Ok. Its ok”

Harry nodded not looking at Louis, “I just - I need a second hold on” Then Harry got up and walked into the bathroom closing the door. Louis sat there for a minute surprised but let Harry have their space. It was about 5 minutes later Harry came out.

Harry walked to the other side of the bed and laid down back in the same spot, “Hi. I’m sorry”

Louis shakes his head laying back down, cuddling into the blanket, “You have no reason to be sorry. None at all”

Harry sighed and closed their eyes for a moment, “I got your hopes up for nothing”

“Harry, what? Why would you think that? You told me before we even started that you might not like it”

“So you aren’t mad?”

Louis smiled a little resting his hand on Harry’s cheek, “No of course not”

Harry sighed closing his eyes, “So what does this mean for us? Like can you still be happy in this relationship without sex?”

Louis leaned forward quickly and kissed the corner of Harry’s mouth, “Yes I will be happy. Hey, lets get some sleep and we can talk tomorrow after I get off work. Just know I’m not going anywhere”

Harry scoots closer to Louis kissing him closing their eyes, “Ok. Goodnight, love”

The next morning Louis was woken up to breakfast in bed. He almost called out of work for the day, but Harry insisted he go.

“Lou, you need to go to work! Come on get up and shower”

Louis texts Harry on his lunch break and doesn’t get a reply. He’s worried but tries not to overthink it. Finally his work day ends and he couldn’t get in his car faster. He needs to make sure Harry was ok. That they were ok, and that what they did the night before didn’t ruin things.

When he got to Harry’s door he wanted to barge in but he settled for knocking. When Harry answered the door Louis hugged them tightly taking a deep breath, “Hey, you are ok. Worried me a little since you didn’t answer my call earlier”

Harry stepped aside a little so Louis could come in as he kept talking, “Yeah I’m sorry about that. It's just a long day. I’m ok”

“Its alright. You ok?”

Harry smiled and kissed Louis softly, “Yeah I am. I made some dinner, you hungry?”

Louis nods excitedly and kicks his shoes off walking to the kitchen with Harry.

It was a simple dinner of pasta and meatballs but it was still amazing. He would eat anything cooked.

After asking how Louis’s day went Harry begins the conversation, “So basically, I’m worried you’ll leave me since I don’t like sex”

“That's not true”

“Well, nearly everyone else has”

Louis sets his fork down looking at Harry, “But I’m not everyone. I hope you know that”

“But you know there will be times when you want sex and I can’t give that to you”

“Yeah that's true. That's something I can take care on my own though”

“What do you mean?”

“Masturbating Harry, that's what I mean”

It was silent for a good 10 seconds before Harry’s laughter started. Louis couldn’t help but laugh also.

After the laughter died down Harry spoke softly, “Sorry for overthinking it”

  
  
“Don’t be sorry. You say sorry too much. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll figure it out as we go on, don’t worry”


	2. Why don’t we go there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis decide to move in together.

They woke up from Louis rustling through the drawers for work clothes. They laid in bed watching Louis get dressed. When Louis whispered “Bye hun, love you”, it was back to sleep.

Another hour passed and Harry woke up again. This time from a cat crawling on their back.

The small cat gave them a head bump, “alright alright, let’s go eat”

After getting Nagini fed Harry stood in front of the mirror for a moment. It was when the headache became apparent. The bags under their eyes were more noticeable. It was going to be a bad day. They didn’t know where to go from here.

It had been a year since Louis and Harry met and 8 months together. Harry has been open to Louis with the mental issues they faced. The only thing is: Louis hadn’t seen it first hand. The bad days Harry would just stay away.

They knew Louis was at work so they made a plan in their head. They had the day off so they would sleep a little then get on with the day.

The one problem is: they forgot to set an alarm. 

They awoke with fingers running through their hair, “Harry…. Harry love”

Once Harry was able to grasp reality they sit up quickly looking around and see Louis sitting on the opposite side of the bed, “Louis! Hi. Oh god what time is it?”

“It’s about 1:30. I was able to go to lunch early. Was going to make us something. How was your nap,babe?”

It hit Harry that they had been in bed all day. They hadn’t done anything productive with their day, “Damnit. I, uh, let me just go shower real quick. I’m sorry I’ll be right back”

Harry was up and in the bathroom before Louis could ask what was going on.

Sitting in the cold water made them feel something. They could sit there and focus on the coldness hitting their skin. Felt like their problems were going down the drain. They were in the shower for a good 20 minutes before remembering Louis. 

They wrapped the towel around themselves and opened the door. When they opened the door Louis wasn’t sitting on the bed anymore. They saw some clothes sitting on the end of the bed and grabbed them. It’s one of Louis’ bed tshirts with the Iron Man logo. It’s a little small but Harry still loves wearing his clothes. Underneath are two pairs of underwear. A pair of boxes and then a pair of bikini style panties. Harry explained a while ago that they take things day by day gender wise. Some days: it was feminine and some days: masculine. So Louis was giving them a choice since they hadn’t talked yet that day. They slipped on the panties and shirt. What would Harry say? How would they explain this?

When they came back out Louis was sitting on the bed again. He looked up with a smile, “Hey, love. Went to grab a snack. Brought up some grapes for you too”

Harry made their way to their side of the bed grabbing the hairbrush that was sitting on the nightstand, “Do you mind bushing my hair?”

“Of course. Come here”

They scootch over setting the hairbrush by Louis’ leg and turning their back to him.

They both sat in silence for a minute before Louis spoke up, “So is everything ok, love?”

“I’m sorry”

“For?”

“Just walking off without an explanation”

“It’s ok. Can I ask why did you though?”

“It’s hard to explain. I just have days where it hits me really bad. Where I can physically feel the sadness in my chest. I have no energy. I was just upset with myself when I realized how long I had slept”

Louis reaches over, setting Harry’s hairbrush back on the nightstand then wraps his arms around them, “I’m here. I might not be able to understand, but I’m here. If there’s anything I can do to help these days please tell me, ok?”

“I’m still sorry I just walked away earlier. I shouldn’t of done that. It’s hard to explain more when I’m feeling down still. Sorry if it sounds weird”

They both sat in silence for a minute just taking in the moment. Harry felt lighter and more worried at the same. On one hand: it felt good to get it off their chest. Secondhand: will Louis think Harry is crazy or constantly going to worry about them now? Or both?

Louis presses a kiss to Harry’s cheek then lays back on the bed, “but why do you feel so bad about it?”

“Because, I could of done something productive with my day but I didn’t”

“That’s not exactly a bad thing. Obviously your body needed the sleep and rest, don’t feel bad”

A few tears slipped from Harry's eye. Louis is so understanding. Sometimes they feel like they don’t deserve it.

—————————————————————————————————

Louis as finally home for the day. All Harry wanted to do was lay in bed with Louis. Hold onto him forever. But he had to get back to work.

“When did you get candles? I thought you were a incense stick type of guy”

Louis quickly scooted close to Harry resting his head in their lap, “Got a couple the other day. I noticed it's the same one you had around your apartment”

Harry could cry, again. Louis has been noticing all the small things about Harry. Harry doesn’t mind being upfront with boyfriends and telling him what they like and don’t. But with Louis, Harry barely had to.

Harry scratched Louis’ scalp staring at the side of his face, “I love you”

Louis turned his head kissing Harry’s thigh, “I love you more”

—————————————————————————————————

Harry’s leg shook. The room was so quiet it made them uneasy. The white walls. The crinkling of the paper on the bed underneath them.

The knock on the door and click of the door handle made them jump and sit straight up.

“Hi, Harry right?”

They could only nod with a smile.

“So you are here because you were looking into antidepressants?”

“Yeah, um, my therapist referred me to you and said you’d be able to help”

“I sure can. If not we’ll figure it out together. Let's go through your symptoms and we can figure out a plan, ok?”

When Harry and the doctor settled on a medication to start with they felt a little more hopeful.

—————————————————————————————————

“Hey so, there’s something I wanted to ask and talk about.”, Louis said shyly as they both sat on the couch after dinner.

The way Louis said it made Harry’s heart race a little.

“Well.. I know we haven’t been dating super long but I was thinking, what if we moved in together?”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh. Louis was so nervous and shy to ask that? Like Harry had any reason not to move in with Louis. They said just that, “you just scared the hell out of me for that? Louis, why the hell would I  _ not  _ want to move in with you?”

All Louis could do was kiss Harry. Over and over. It was later that night when Harry told Louis about the medication. Harry was met with nothing but support.

—————————————————————————————————

Harry hates moving. Having low energy and having to move almost all alone, it was tough. Louis was working more hours since it was the holiday season so he helped whenever he could.

After 2 ½ weeks all they had left was furniture. Niall and them were still arguing about who gets the couch. Secretly Harry is actually starting to like Louis’ couch. It was small and gave them an excuse to cuddle all the time.

To sit in their own apartment was something else. Harry didn’t know how to take it in yet. It was scary at first to know Louis would see all of Harry.

—————————————————————————————————

As the next few weeks went by Harry was starting to feel like a new person. They were having more good days than bad days. But when the bad days hit, they hit hard. There were days Harry felt detached from themself. They couldn’t explain it.

“Hello? Excuse me, sir. I’ve been waiting here for almost 5 minutes”

‘Sir’ was what caught Harry’s attention. They should be used to getting misgendered by strangers now, but it still sends a sinking feeling in their stomach. They knew it hadn’t been 5 minutes but they did space out for a good couple minutes. 

“I am so sorry. Let me ring you up”

After the transaction, with just grunts and eye rolls from the customer, Harry lost it. They made it to the bathroom before the tears started thankfully.

Once they calmed down they were able to muster up the courage to ask Niall to come in a little early to take over.

—————————————————————————————————

Louis could tell something was wrong the second he walked in the door. Harry was laying on the couch with the tv on silent with their eyes closed. But Louis could tell they weren’t sleeping.

“Hey hun. Everything ok?”

“Yeah”

“You sure?”

“No. I left work early”

Louis quickly took his shoes off making his way to the couch, ”what happened, what’s going on?”

“I left a crying mess. I dealt with an asshole customer that got to me. I broke down then had to ask to leave”

“I’m so sorry, love. It’s ok”

“I’m just worried Niall will be mad at me. Hecame in early so I could leave”

“Well he agreed to it right? No one forced him to Harry, he could of said no”

“Yeah, I guess”

“Everything’s going to be ok. Just explain you were having a rough day. I can’t imagine Niall holding this against you love. He cares abut you a lot too”

Harry let out a sigh sitting up, “I've just been having good days and having a bad one today made me feel like a failure for some reason? Like I’m a failure at getting better. I know its stupid”

Louis took a deep breath. He hated when Harry said these things about themself, “its not stupid don’t say that”

“Want to go make some dinner?”

Louis wasn’t a fan of Harry just changing the subject with serious stuff, but at least they were still opening up, ”Yeah of course. I was thinking about spaghetti? Maybe meatballs?”

“Yes please!”

—————————————————————————————————

As the year went on Louis could see the changes in Harry. It was beautiful. It was amazing and inspiring. They had just taken the next step and even went working full time hours at the store, “ _ I know it’s not going to be easy. But hopefully I can handle it. I need to focus on my future more”  _ Louis could not have been more proud of them.

It had been 2 weeks since Harry was working more and they were handling it amazingly. The first week was hard. Harry would come home near tears or completely exhausted to do anything.

This week seemed to be going smoother.

When Harry walked into the apartment they noticed Louis wasn’t in the living room like usual.

“Lou, babe, where are you?”

Harry walked into the kitchen to see a bright pink sticky note on the fridge, ‘ _ went to the shop to grab something for dinner. Feel free to shower and change into the clothes on the bed ;)’ _

The winky face made Harry confused until they walked into the bedroom. On the bed sat two pieces of clothing, if you could call it that. There was a light pink satin tank top along with matching bikini style bottoms. It was so pretty and Harry loves it.

While Harry was in the shower he heard noises outside the door knowing Louis was home. The bathroom door popped open making Harry startle and poke their head out, “you scared me Louis”

“Sorry, sorry. I just wanted to let you know I’m home. Just stay in the bedroom for a little when you are done ok? Don’t ask I just have a little surprise ok”

Harry nodded and finished their shower.

20 minutes after Harry got out they were getting antsy. They could hear Louis rustling around the living room and smell something cooking. It smelt like cookies which confused Harry.

“Alight babe, you can come out. Just come to the living room please”

“Um, ok” As Harry left the room they gabbed their robe hanging next to the door. Wanted to surprise Louis a little even though he knew what he was wearing. 

They opened the door and the first thing they saw were rose petals. A trail of the heading in the short hallway turning into the living room. As Harry went around the corner they thought they would for sure pass out. There was Louis. Surrounded in a giant heart of rose petals wearing a suit. But that wasn’t what caught Harry off guard. It was that Louis was on one knee.

“Louis…”

“Harry” he said with a small smile holding one hand out

“Louis what in the hell is going on”

“I simply can’t imagine a future without you. I love you more than anything. I want to be with you forever. Will you marry me?”

Harry stood there. They felt like they weren’t breathing. Was this really happening?

“Is this really happening?”

A small laugh fell from Louis’ lips, “yes it’s really happening. And you not answering is worrying me”

“Yes! Oh my god yes Louis!”

As Louis slipped the ring on Harry’s finger it really hit them and the tears came. 

It was a couple minutes after the tears stopped Harry took a real good look at the ring. They couldn’t stop the gasp that left their mouth, “Louis… it’s - is this the pearl ring from my work? Louis how the hell did you afford this?”

“Not your concern my love. You like it right?”

“Louis you know I love it. I love you. But you know what I would love more? Eating some of the cookies you baked”

Louis couldn’t help but laugh,  _ yup this is the perfect person to spend the rest of my life with. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to writing-frog and Cmeiffel on tumblr for helping me out an beta’ing!  
> Thank you for reading what I have so far ♡

**Author's Note:**

> Well there we are! I would love to turn this into a mini series but I wanted to see how this would go. So please give feedback if I should continue or not. Thank you for your time!
> 
> Find me on tumblr: http://nonbinaryharry.tumblr.com/


End file.
